I am in a preachy mood, bear with me 🙂
I know I need some “me” time because thats’s how I bring back harmony in my life. And today I will try to convince you that having a “me ” time for yourself is not as selfish as it sounds. Especially you-yes you right there who thinks you will fail some parent test if you dare to even think about taking some “me” time.
Life is an amzing thing that has happened to us. Of course our parents become the reason for our birth, no denying there but guess what – they are just a medium chosen by someone up there. That someone is known to some as God, to some its the universe, to some its some concept beyond human cognition and to some its something not worth pondering about. Whatever, the point is you were given a life. Now the social fabric is such that we tend to forget that we are more than the roles we are given in this life. Yes, we share our happiness and sorrows with out loved ones -be it family or friends. But there is still some part of us that can’t be shared with anyone. You know why? because thats how it is. Every human is bounded by some rationality. Universal laws tell us that whatever happens , happens in no vain. There has to be a reason, a response, a reaction, a cause and an effect related to anything that happens. It can be anything: dropping of an apple from a tree or flowing river of raspberry rum in the galaxy.
So that may also mean that we were born for a reason, and as we play the given roles of a child to someone, a spouse to someone, a parent to someone, a subordinate to someone, a boss to someone, a friend to someone..(I assume you got the hang of it :-)), our life easily becomes JUST THAT. We try to be the best in those assumed roles, which is great by the way. But we make a big mistake when we consume all of ourselves into proving to be a better someone TO someone. …we tend to forget that our reason for existence is may be a bit more than that, and discovering that reason is what makes your life worthwhile. Funny thing is you may never ever find out what that reason was, but when you keep trying to dig in, you make time for yourself. You replenish your own needs that cannot be fulfilled by any of our biologically and socially attained relationships. That can only be replenished by being in harmony with your own self. Once you do that, you feel 100 times better about how you felt previously and because you beam in that almost spiritual glory , you are able to share happness with your loved ones and the society so so much more. You certainly become a better version of yourself – how beautiful is that !
So next time when you try to convince yourself- my kids are everything to me, my husband is everything to me, my family is everthing to me-give a pat on your back for being a generous person but also ask yourself if there is NOTHING that is of your own. IS THAT IT? your family defines you who you are , your job defines you who you are ? Be honest with yourself and if you are convinced then no problem, I say. But if you hesitate to answer that question please hug yourself and tell yourself – “it is time to take some “me” time where I replenish my core essesnce and go back to what I am good at, what I am known for – being a great someone to someone”
From personal experience and because I am a woman myself, I know many many women out there feel guilty even at the thought of taking some “me” time. This is so wrong, but can’ really blame them entirely – the society in general has to be blamed. Taking “me” time doesn’ t mean running away from responsibilities, or escaping the life. It just means that you are giving yourself that respect that no one else can bestow on you. Your biggest responsibility is towards yourselves, your body, your feelings, once you align them with everything else that goes on in your little world, Life becomes blissful. Otherwise, we all become the same judgemental humans who would judge a woman for not wanting children, or a woman who choose to struggle balancing her professional and personal life. We are way too harsh on other humans. We judge almost everything: woman with make-up, woman without make-up, woman with children, woman without children, woman with divorce, woman being single.
We are way too näive to believe life is perfect if a woman is happily married, raising children and being a great homemaker. I know society has changed since 18oos and woman are doing a lot more than that. But the judging standards are still based on a ceratin yardstick that goes a long back in history. And unfortunately majority proportion of people who judge other women are women themselves.
SO I say if we all take some “me ” time for ourselves, we will make life easy for everyone else.
And coming to this hugely repeated phrase – “me” time, well you wonder what it is, right?
Guess what- its nothing more than doing things purely for your soul without feeling guilty. If you love music, do some music, if you love cooking , do some cooking, if you love traveling, do some traveling, if you want to meditate, do some meditation, if you love reading, do some reading, if you love to sleep a bit longer, for god’s sake sleep a bit longer. The point is whatever little you do for yourself, NEVER FEEL GUILTY.
Balance is the key, and that balance keeps a check on being someone who is always looking for a reason of their existence beyond the obvious or being selfish and running way from the assumed responsibilities.
Connecting with yourself through the Universe is something that guarantees a successful “me” time. Feeling yourself a miniscule (of course) but authentic part of the universe makes it easy to see the place and priority of everything else in your life.
So go for it, I say. Bring that happiness to yourself which only you can get hands on. Live a little, give credit to yourself, be happy, feel the bliss, enjoy the life in all its imperfections, beam with true happiness, share and spread love that you are capable of…You are so much more than what you think you are.
PS: Sharing a little bit of myself with you through this picture above, which is from Ladakh. I decided to go there for two months in wintertime back in 2010. One fine day I told myself, I should do something that I always wanted to do- travel solo in an unknown territory and do something productive (volunteering with kids- which ended up becoming one of the best experiences in my life as I came back with bag full of hope, happiness, lessons and self-worth). My then boyfriend (now husband) did not become a reason to pass on this idea, my mother in India did not become the reason to postpone this urge. And I can proudly say this decision was one of the best decisons I ever made. Whenever I look back, Ladakh memories bring thousand smiles to me and warm my heart.